I'm RICK JAMES, bitch!
(Rick James - Superfreak)

So I’ve been back from the cottage for two days now and I don’t know why but I’m still dead tired. All I’ve wanted to do the last 2 days is sleep. Maybe I’ve got west nile disease from all the mosquito bites or I’m just suffering from prolonged heat exhaustion.

Highlights from the cottage trip…

- PONTOON!! – the greatest party boat ever. There’s nothing better than a floating deck that has room for 10-14 people to party and fish on. Unless of course your name is P. Diddy and you have a yacht.
- Jen learning the hard way that passing on a one lane hwy around a bend and uphill is a baddddddddd idea.
- Filleting my first fish and picking scales out of my hair and teeth. Never smile while removing scales from a fish.
- Watching Arrested Development and the Dave Chappelle show – "I’m RICK JAMES, bitch!"
- Catching our first pike. The Pike Master award goes to Garry! Here’s a guy who has never caught anything on any fishing trip we’ve been on, but give him a Yamamoto worm to work with and we turn him into a professional angler.
- Mr.Yamamoto makes goooood cookies! Who would’ve thought I’d go through 3 bags of Yamamoto worms in one weekend? For the record, Mr. Yamamoto has yet to be shut out on any fishing trip.
- Mixed drinks that taste like crap. Let’s leave the drink making to the bartenders. Caipirinha’s taste good only if they’re made by a Brazilian much like Cuban cigars are only good if they’re rolled by Cubans. Caesars are only good if you actually put some Clamato juice in it. Otherwise you can just call it vodka, tobasco and Worchester.
- Getting stranded at the other end of the lake without gas and having two of our finest swimmers (Hasselhoff and Pamela), swim back to shore to hitch a ride with country hicks. One of which is the driver, a 14 year old girl, who’s engaged to be married to a 16 year old guy. Then having the cottage owner boat out and fill up your gas tank. Future mental note: make sure you have a full gas tank before boating down the river.
- Being a buffet for all the mosquitoes up North.
- Fuzzy duck, ducky fuzz, duzzy, duzzy fuck, fucky duzz, fucky duck --> DRINK!
- "Jokers are worth zero!!" --> worst on-the-spot rule change for a drinking game ever! If anyone has ever played the Indian drinking game, throw in a joker and make it worth zero. Then force the person who picks the joker to drink an entire drink. Almost as good as the time we decided that if you say any personal pronouns, you had to drink. Speaking in third person is funny when you’re drunk.